I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
