i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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