Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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