So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize