Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
