could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize