He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
zippers are such a cool invention
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
