That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
if i died would you start the facebook group?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
