His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
