dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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