Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
