Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
