xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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