Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I could make wine with my vomit
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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