Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
