In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
