what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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