I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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