Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
