I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
