I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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