and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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