dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
