i don't plan on having that self control this summer
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
