Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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