no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
