Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
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