Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
