And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize