Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
