I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
