I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
