Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
