Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize