some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just found puke in my bra..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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