No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize