Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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