If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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