You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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