your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
