I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
