Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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