Are we in a gay sports bar?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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