Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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