Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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