wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
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just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
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Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
jump out the window naked night went bad
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