Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
