Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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