She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.