sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I need a burrito and a hug.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
