shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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