I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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