ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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