I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
