He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
