I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
