i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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