Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
