sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
