My hand turned me down
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
